From Rose’s Garden – Sufficient (definition) – “adequate for the purpose; enough” - “ of a quantity that can fulfill a need or requirement but without being abundant “
What is your first thought of the day? Something like….I didn’t get enough sleep? Or I have SO MUCH to do today? There is never enough time? Well, in my case…sometimes I don’t get enough sleep; however, I ALWAYS hit the ground running and especially during the work week. More often than not, I have been rushing through my weekends lately also. My youngest son has been home for the summer and there is ALWAYS something going on at our house. Our home has always been the gathering place for Zach’s friends, so we have had a revolving door of kids. The summers are always very busy for us! This past weekend was his last full weekend home, so I spent a lot of time shopping, cooking and getting things ready for a cookout and get together for friends and family to come over and hang out one last time with Zach before we move him back to college.
For the past few months, I have desired to spend more time on “creating.” I took a couple art classes in January through April of this year and I re-discovered that wonderful feeling that comes with spending time creating and painting. Art completes me. When I am working on a painting or collage, just thinking and planning the content and colors excites me like nothing else can! It spills over into other areas of my life and makes me feel whole and alive!! I also loved hanging out and painting with other artists and watching their creations evolve. So much fun!!
I haven’t found much time to work on my art this summer. It just seems like I never have enough time to sit down and paint and ponder what my next step or color will be. I don’t get paid to paint and my family doesn’t really “get” how art fulfills me. They chuckle at me a lot…and that’s ok. Not everyone likes to create, although I like to think that everyone has creativity inside them. I sometimes wonder if some folks just choose not to unleash it within themselves. I did take the time (back in April) to start making a tiny room in my house my “art place.” A large unfinished canvas has been sitting in this room since April. I started it and just haven’t had the time to go back to it. Every now and then, I walk into my little room to water my grandma’s Christmas Cactus and other plants and ponder on my canvas. I began it with rich purples, reds and turquoise. My theme is angels….both good and bad. All angels aren’t good, you know.
Ahhhh….I digress….I do this a lot! I blame it on my ADHD. Look!! There’s a spider!! This past weekend, I took a little time on Friday (I took the day off to tie up loose ends with Zach’s return to school) and thought about my play time, or the lack thereof. I have a strong need and desire to bring art back into my life and not just leave it sitting on the table to be glanced at every now and then. I pondered on what is keeping me from creating. How do I find the time for the creating and play that make me feel whole?
Well, I can tell you that the thought of “not enough” time creeps up continually. Whether it is true or not at ALL times, it certainly occurs frequently. The irony of this “time” excuse is that it occurs before I really have the time to question or examine the facts. On an hour drive home last Friday, I prayed about my desire…a short little prayer. I prayed for insight and maybe just a teeny bit of clarity. What came flowing through my heart and mind within a few hours after praying is this; I spend the greater part of my waking hours explaining that I don’t have enough….of anything.
I don’t have enough time, I don’t have enough money. I’m not thin enough or fit enough. I don’t exercise enough. Before I jump out of my bed, I have run out of time, I am behind on everything and already lacking something. By the time I hit the bed at night, my mind lands on my “list.” I didn’t get to everything on my list or eat all the right foods or exercise enough that day. I go to sleep with thoughts of my inadequacies and shortages. I awaken, keenly aware that I have a time crunch. This all began for me as a way to express the fact that I have a hurried life. I don’t have time…..I am challenged…. It has now grown into something much bigger and rather daunting….am I justifying a life that lacks fulfillment?
I had a “light bulb” moment folks! How much time am I wasting making excuses for my lack of time? For my lack of anything for that matter…. And on to my list…what did I take from this “light bulb” moment?
- My lack of time has become an excuse sometimes, not always, but more than I would like to admit.
- This lack of everything that I seemingly have…lack of sleep, exercise, thinness, time... insert just about anything….is very negative and it is draining.
- I have a choice as to how I choose to use my time. True…I don’t watch TV….however, less time on my computer, making my meals simpler, creating this “busyness” in my head. I have a conscious choice here.
- Just because I don’t have big chunks of time...i.e. I work full time in a demanding job; does not mean that I can’t take advantage of small amounts of time.
Friday afternoon, upon arriving back at home and after a few hours of all this contemplation and pondering, I picked up my big canvas and took it outside to a table on my deck. I got out my paints and started mixing up a red color to match my mood and my paintings’ mood. I didn’t have a huge chunk of time, but I was totally and completely in my realm for that time period. On Sunday, after our party, I worked on my painting again, for a short, but sufficient amount of time. It is coming along nicely.
Happiness, contentment, self-fulfillment…..it doesn’t require an abundant amount of time or recognition. Sufficiency is enough….just enough.
Love and peace to all ♥