In our Facebook group, the question of clutter came up, as well as how clutter impacts our eating. It started me thinking about the clutter in my life and how that may impact my relationship with food. I started thinking how cluttered my life is and how difficult a time I have getting rid of things. I also have a real hard time not adding to my clutter when I want something, even if I don't need it. Growing up, we didn't have a ton of money. My mother was very specific about what we could afford to buy and what we couldn't afford to buy, material items and food items. She also tried to keep us eating healthy. We weren't allowed soda, sugary cereals, real butter (butter was a huge no-no growing up, it was all margarine), and sweets in general.
Fast forward to being an adult and as a grown up, with a real job and profession, I was able to eat and buy what I want. I think on some level, I have a small touch of obsessiveness when it comes to buying and eating what I want. I'm not very organized at home with my stuff or with food planning. I think I also have a touch of ADHD. I have never been formally diagnosed, but I tend to have trouble focusing and organizing. Part of the problem is what I just mentioned. I have too much stuff and not enough room for it. My lack of organizing skills makes it difficult to menu plan and plan a food shopping list. Part of it is going shopping and seeing something I want and having that obsessive behavior kick in and even if it not on my list and/or something I should eat, I get it.
Here I am, almost 2 months into this challenge and I am learning more about myself and how my past and present are impacting my eating. I am learning that maybe instead of just eliminating certain foods, I need to look at why I have trouble with my eating. I am also thinking that I need to look at other areas in my life and how to make changes. In the past, I have denied that there are things from my past that are impacting my eating. Now I am trying to decide if my past is affecting my present or if I am just using it as an excuse to explain away my bad choices.
I am beginning to honestly think that my past is affecting my present and how I make decisions in life. I think what I need to realize is that I can't use it as an excuse, but I need to use it as a learning tool. Yes, in my past I was limited in what I was allowed to either buy or eat, but just because I can choose what I want, doesn't mean that I have to make poor choices. I think it is important for me to really think about why it is that I want to buy something, whether I want a material item or a food item. Is there something else that I need that is not food or a material item that will either clutter my house or my body.
My goal is to start de-cluttering my house and organizing my belongings and de-cluttering my mind and start organizing my time. I think I will actually enjoy having a more organized life. I think I am a wanna be type A personality, but that damn ADHD type behavior really makes it difficult. I don't think that it is healthy to be a total type A person, but I think that maybe I can find a happy medium and live a more balanced life than what I am living right now.