Learn how to join the challenge.
We are three weeks in to the challenge now. I find that I judge myself for being in this challenge when I don't face as grave of issues as several of my co-challengers. I don't have grave health issues. I don't have fertility issues. I am just a normal, overworked, stretched-thin girl who gets mild infections, gut issues, and headaches when she eats too much wheat or dairy. I'd give up writing this if I hadn't committed to Iris. I feel selfish for taking up space in the challenge.
At the same time, there must be others like me. Others who just want to achieve some balance in their lives. Who don't want to run a rat race for the next 30 years but who also love their work. Others who are terrified of getting married a second time, not just because they want to get marriage "right" this time, but also because a decade after the first wedding it's a bit harder to get into bridal shape. Others who want a kind relationship with food, and who really don't respond well to wheat or dairy.
So I'll keep writing the challenge. Even though I've had more chips the last three days than I should have.
This week I had the pleasure of doing the call-in with Iris and my co-challengers. My big epiphany from the session and meditation is that the low-grade panic I always feel is from my mind constantly saying GO! Go here, drive there, do this, get that done. I am rarely in the moment of what I am doing. As a result, I have posted a note on my computer and on my dashboard that has the word GO crossed out and the word BE underlined. It is helping me to pause, breathe, and just be. Feeling anxious at a red light is not going to get me to the client's any sooner. Worrying about the next design isn't going to get this one done any faster. In fact, it will probably get in the way. So, BE.
|My reminder note to BE not GO|
I also had the pleasure of working with my health coach, Ellen. I felt frustrated because so many nights I am up until midnight designing. Last week it got so bad that I actually saw dawn. Sun rays, birds chirping, the whole bit. Not okay. That is not going to support me, my business, or my marriage. At the same time, when I do set aside my studio time from 10am-1pm, I often do not use the time effectively. So annoying! Ellen helped me to come up with a way to focus my mind. On my computer, I have posted "green to purple" to help me remember to turn all studio time (set in green on my iCal calendar) into billable design time (set in purple on my iCal calender). That means it's not time for e-mail, calls, other admin tasks, or cleaning. That stuff will be there, but I must make the design time a priority.
Speaking of which...I'd better stop writing this. I have to go design (it's 10:50 as I write this).
|Another empty bag of chips - not a way to fit into a wedding dress|
Slip-ups: Damian made lasagna - I had a few bites. Not vegan or gluten free, but soo tasty. Then had a potluck at my house and couldn't resist a couple mushroom turnovers and three cheese raviolis. But I am okay with both; it was a small slip. The bigger slip-up: I MUST STOP EATING CHIPS. Just because they are vegan and gluten free doesn't make it right.
-85 days as of writing this post.
-Current wedding stress: Still the food. Still have no flippin' idea what I'll be serving my guests...
-Diet-freakout: Still 8 pounds heavier than I was when I bought the dress (gulp). ARGH.
THIS WEEK'S KEY TO SUCCESS: Post-it notes to remind me to focus on one thing at a time, and to BE, not GO.
THIS WEEK'S PERSONAL CHALLENGE: To get 8 hours of sleep each night, and to go to bed at the same time as my fiancé.