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What a roller coaster of a week. There was laughter. There were tears.
The tears come from simple overwhelm. 94 days to the wedding as of this post. Still have no idea what I am going to serve my guests. Ugh.
I have lots and lots of clients and new client inquiries, and not enough time for everything I have committed to doing without sacrificing sleep. SLEEP is the key ingredient to my not falling apart. What does falling apart look like? I crawl under my desk and hide. No, really, I do.
|My bedroom, where I should spend more time|
So the message this week - spend more time in my bedroom. It's a lovely room; I just need to get into that room earlier each night than I do.
Positive things this week: Had grab-and-go quinoa salads ready in the fridge for all lunches this week - nice! - and even grilled veggies for dinner last night - success. (Thanks to Ellen Allard for encouragement in that regard.) I also took a long hot bath, lay on the couch for five minutes twice, and even got to be in my garden for several hours on Sunday. (Damian ran the bath and also literally picked me up out of my desk chair and put me in my garden, so I don't get the credit - except for the credit of choosing a really great guy.)
|Moments of peace|
My favorite joyful moment this week? Watching the hummingbird bathe in my fountain. I get to watch crows, robins, finches, jays, starlings and woodpeckers all bathe there too, but there is nothing quite like watching a hummingbird sit still and take a bath. Maybe because the way it is ALWAYS in motion reflects so closely how I live my life, always darting from one thing to the next, and that moment of stillness is so precious and so rare, for the hummingbird, and for me. It reaches into my soul.
Because even with the little luxuries like baths and gardening, I am always operating on low-grade panic. Even as I relax, I am aware of the looming lists and deadlines. Trying to learn to ask for, and pay for help. So hard for me.
Slip-ups: Costco taste-tests. Just couldn't turn down the jalapeño-cheddar potato pierogies; Had three sample bites. Sooo yummy! But perhaps it will lead to a brilliant jalapeño mashed potato recipe?
- 94 days as of writing this post.
- Current wedding stress: Food. Have no flippin' idea what I'll be serving my guests... In 94 days!
- Diet-freakout: Still 8 pounds heavier than I was when I bought the dress (gulp).
THIS WEEK'S PERSONAL CHALLENGE: To go outside once a day and walk through my front and back garden. It will be a start to the walking.