Part 1: The Beginning
Part 2: Meet Blue Eyes
Part 3: How to End a Relationship Before it Starts
Blue Eyes was only three years younger than me, but I think a generational gap occurred in those three years. I remember my uncle once commenting on how quickly I typed. I told him it was because I was on AIM (instant messenger) all the time. That was my generation. Blue Eyes is of the texting generation. Although I get as nervous as the next person waiting for a crush to call, I was still hoping for exactly that. A call.
I got a text.
And more texts.
Out of the blue texts.
Texts that said: You make me smile.
Of course, that made me smile. I would respond and then wait by my phone for hours.
I couldn't figure out what went on in that time. I assumed that either A) he had texted me and then dropped his phone in the toilet, B) he had texted me on his break, then had to go back to work, or C) he was just plain annoying and didn't get texting etiquette.
I think the truth was a combination of B, C, and D and E. As far as I know, he never dropped his phone in the toilet. This is a good thing since he and his roommate had a terribly dirty bathroom, which I would later avoid as much as possible.
What were D and E? Well, I had heard through the grapevine that he was intimidated by me. I was older than him, I was working on my second master's degree and...well...he thought I was really pretty. I patted myself on the back a few times when I heard this. Heck yeah, I intimidated him. I am woman, hear me roar.
What was E? Probably that unfortunate incident of sleeping in another guy's bed. I'm still trying to live that one down. Poor sweet, innocent me, branded a harlot. If only he knew how far that was from the truth.
But he didn't know. He didn't know me that well and I didn't know him. What I knew was this: He worked at a grocery store, had gone to community college briefly, and had a distinct dislike for anything having to do with the government, consumerism or even the word money. He had once decided to do an experiment in which he tried to go a whole year without money. With only a symbolic dollar in his wallet, he wanted to know what would happen if he neither made nor spent money for a year. When he told me this, I was actually intrigued. I've always loved social experiments and appreciate people who go against societal norms. He was shocked when I didn't immediately tell him he was an idiot, as that was the usual response he got.
So this was what I knew.
What did he know about me? That I had just gotten out of a long term relationship, that I wasn't interested in anything serious, and that I may have slept with someone else after flirting with him.
When I look back, I think that things could easily have fizzled out after that first night. We really didn't make sense together. We came from different backgrounds, we were going in different directions, and there was a distinct lack of communication.
A text message does not a real conversation make.
None of that mattered though. I was determined to live in the moment and right then, all I wanted was Blue Eyes.
After weeks of texting, Facebook flirting and other such modern day dating nonsense, I finally had the chance to see him again. My housemate was singing at a Seattle bar and I knew Blue Eyes was coming. I dressed way too nice for the occasion, in black boots and a little black dress. I knew I looked hot. I also knew I was so nervous that I sweating in my dress. Not hot.
I went with my girlfriends. Blue Eyes came with his friend. We sat across the table from each other and barely said more than five words to each other all night. Everyone else was aware of our interest and knowing that they were watching us only made it worse. By the end of the show, I knew something had to be done.
We all decided to move onto another bar, and I very deliberately hung back. So did Blue Eyes. Our friends didn't get the memo though and kept walking slowly with us. It was raining so we tried to give them the one umbrella and use the excuse that we didn't all fit under it. They still tried to walk with us.
Hello...Were they not paying attention? Clearly we were trying to be alone. I was not one for making the first move, but if I could just get him alone, I was going for it. Enough of this nonsense.
I couldn't say that though, not in front of him. So we continued on until we got to the bar. There, fate intervened by way of a cover charge. Our friends didn't want to pay a cover, but Blue Eyes quickly paid for me and we escaped inside.
Once inside though, there was more of the same. Halting conversation and darting glances. Eventually, Blue Eyes stepped outside with some other friends, and I later learned that he had been asking for advice. He, by the way, denies this. According to our mutual friend, however, he went outside and asked what to do. Our friend told him to ask me to dance.
Whether it was our friend's idea or Blue Eyes thought of it on his own, it worked. He asked me to dance. I said yes. What happened next was a case of he said/she said.
He said I kissed him.
I said he kissed me.
Apparently we kissed each other.
I would like to tell you it was the most romantic kiss I had ever experienced, but that would be a lie. This is real life after all, not a romance novel. We were in a bar with lots of other people and I knew our Facebook obsessed friend was lurking with his ever present camera. The last thing I wanted was a snapshot of us kissing showing up in my newsfeed.
And so our first kiss is not the one I remember when I think of those first few months. Nor was the second kiss. No, the moments that I'll remember come later. But that's another story for another day.
What came next was our first date. And it may interest you to know that he made me a completely gluten-free dinner at his place. But more about that tomorrow.
To be continued...