Friday, June 1, 2012
I have an announcement to make. And it isn't actually that important for you, but it's a decision that's I've been wrestling with for a while.
I have a food blog. I wrote two baking guides. I teach cooking classes. Oh yeah, and I'm getting a master's degree in nutrition. I often forget that one, which I suppose tells you all something.
Everything in my life has been leading me in this direction, like the winds are calling me, "Food. Food. Your purpose in life is to heal people through food." That's what I thought my purpose was. That's why I moved from NYC to Seattle to attend Bastyr University. But try as I might, something in me just keeps rebelling. Pushing back against that wind and yelling, "No, no! That's not it! There's something else I'm supposed to be doing!"
I've known for a while. What my purpose is and what I'm meant to do in this world. But it hasn't been completely clear, and of course there's always that fear that blocks us with such underhanded cunning. But in the last couple of weeks, it's been getting clearer and clearer. As I (maybe? I can't remember...) have mentioned, I'm getting certified to be a hypnotherapist, and as part of my practice, I get to work with an awesome classmate and receive my own hypnotherapy sessions weekly. And with each session, the message has become louder. Blocks are falling away as if they never existed - although I know they did because they've been messing with me for years.
And I got it. There are still some big details to think about. And a lot of planning to make my vision a reality. But I'm finally here, finally in the right place, and ready to do the work.
Which brings me to my announcement. Big build up, right? Like I said, it's really not that big of a deal for you. But It's big for me.
I'm going back to eating completely sugar-free, and I'm taking a break from baking sweets on the blog. There may be some sugar-free baked goods here and there; I'm not sure exactly how this will all unfold. But for the most part, I have to leave the baking to my fabulous friends who I know will serve you well: Look on my sidebar for links to some of the blogs I love. The reason for this is simple. I have a vision. I know what I need to do in this world, and I know that I need to be healthy to do it. Healthy in body, mind, and spirit. And when I'm baking and testing and eating all those baked goods, I just don't feel good. My body rebels. My mind rebels. My spirit rebels.
I have a very hard time thinking about giving up baking. First of all, I know you all love them (don't even try to deny it; I look at my stats). But all that aside, I have ideas running through my head constantly. Flavors that would work together, different combinations of flours, substitutions and more. And every time I have tried to take a break in the last year, I've only lasted about a week before feeling the desire to plant myself in the kitchen and stay there forever. But then I bake, I eat, I feel like blah, and I realize why it needs to stop.
I may actually continue baking on my own. I have a huge pantry of flours after all, and lots of friends I love to feed. But the continual testing to perfect recipes means way too much taste testing for me. And try as I might, I just don't have it in me to take a bite and not eat the rest. Some people can do it, and I applaud them for it. I can't, and I'm tired of trying.
But it's more than that. It's not just about wanting to actually eat the food that I share with you here. It's about saying no to the things that aren't in line with my vision, so that the universe can open itself up to inviting opportunities that are in line with that vision. So chilling out on the baking will help me to have more mental space to work on my new project, more actual time to devote to that and to doing the kind of posts here that I've been enjoying lately. And hopefully it will give me more energy to work on recipes that, while perhaps not as exciting as Salted Caramel Chocolate Shortbread Bars, will actually be of greater use to you. I want to post more of the recipes that make my body feel good. Because even if those recipes don't get pinned over and over on pinterest, my hope is that you'll make them for yourself and your family, and you'll find that they help you to feel your best too. That way, you can also have the energy to follow your vision and make your dreams a reality. And in the end that's what this is all about, right? Coming together in this online space so that we can share our dreams and help each other to make this world what we want it to be?
Are you with me? Yes? Yes!
Now with all that said, I had already planned a pretty fun June for you all here, and it involves cake. Birthday cake, to be exact, because I'm turning 30 on June 28th, and I'm excited about it. So the sweets ban won't actually start until June 28th. Until then, you'll be seeing lots of sweets this month. But you'll have to come back tomorrow for all the details, and to find out just what else I'm planning for YOU for my birthday.
Oh, and my vision? This big dream that I'm hoping will change everything? I have to keep it to myself for now. I feel the need to protect it while it's in its infancy, to keep it safe so it can take root and grow strong. But I'm hoping that when all is said and done, that you'll want to be a part of it.
Because ultimately, it's for you.